Inspiration
by Salazarfalcon
Summary: Rainy days have never been Edward's forte. For one, other than completely soaking him, they make his automail cold, make his hair stick to his face, and cause him to make some revelations that he didn't necessarily want about a certain colonel.....


Title: Inspiration

Fandom: Full Metal Alchemist

Genre: FLUFF. Paternal!Roy

Rating: PG-13

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Warnings: Edward's bad mouth, the usual stuff in my fanfics, etc.

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BTW, if anyone can tell me (other than Sam-chan) where I got the term slither-outerer, you get 20 points!

Angela, I almost typed Ropy about fifteen times! Seriously!

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DISCLAIMER: Trust me, if I owned FMA, then A) I would be one rich woman, and B) it wouldn't be shown on American television.

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**I always thought that this song was very fitting for Ed and Roy, so there you have it.**

Lyrics: Yellowcard's **Star Struck**

Where is your inspiration, you lost it, oh so long ago  
so much for innovation, I saw this coming long before  
You had no motivation, your hopes are high but trapped below,  
This constant competition, we've won but you're still keeping score

So high on dedication, it feels so good to get away,  
From all this repetition, this angry town, this battleground  
So now we'll break tradition, we'll leave you swimming in our wake  
Without your inspiration, you won't survive, you'll surely drown

Where is your inspiration, you lost it oh so long ago

**----------------------**

**Begin:**

---

**You are my inspiration**

---

Edward would quite possibly be the first person to admit that he disliked rain, among a great many other things. It not only did the obvious, like soaking him straight to the bone, but also caused his hair to stick to his face and made his automail cold, and generally made him one very, VERY unpleasant alchemist to be around.

"Ugh, hate this." he muttered.

Al had gone off for a while to Resembool to visit Winry, good for him. Winry would do him good, and at least then he wouldn't risk rusting out in this weather. When Alphonse got his body back, they would make a very, very nice match.

_If _Al ever got over his shyness, that is.

"Hate this, hate this, hate this."

Edward raised a hand and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, water dripping everywhere.

"Damnit."

Standing in front of the eastern military building was not Ed's idea of a good time. If it weren't for the fact that without Al he could hardly wake up and all and had forgotten his umbrella that day, he would already be home, or as home as it was, in the dorms taking a hot bath. Suddenly, the water stopped falling.

Golden eyes blinked, and Ed glanced up at the shadow above him, startled to see the large blue umbrella.

"Enjoying yourself, Hagane no?"

Edward twitched. Damnit, damnit, damnit.

"Taisa." he growled out, nevertheless scooting closer as to get out of the rain, "Actually finished your paperwork, have you, bastard?"

Mustang's blue eyes smirked.

"Yes, actually, Hagane no." he said, moving the umbrella from hand to hand to aquire enough room for both of them, tone casual, "Do you happen to find pleasure in looking like a drowned cat?"

"Shut up," the blonde growled, staring determinately at the soaking ground at his feet, scuffing his boot slightly, positively mortified with this current turn of events. "I'm not out here 'cause I wanna be, you know."

"Indeed," Mustang replied, a self-satisfied something-or-other pulling at the corners of his mouth, "Come on then, my car's right over here." Ed blinked, but stayed silent, merely following the colonel over to the black car parked a little bit away, "Hop in."

The younger alchemist opened the door and slid into the front passenger seat, buckling the seat belt as Roy started the car.

"Talked to Alphonse lately?"

Ed nodded.

"Hai, yesterday."

They fell into silence and stayed that way until Mustang pulled into the driveway of an almost obscenely large house. He noticed Ed's awestruck expression, and nodded.

"They pay me a lot, I may as well take advantage of it, right? My place is closer than the dorms, I'll take you home later, I need to change."

Edward nodded numbly, silent, and the colonel stepped out and unlocked the front door, flicking on the hall light and directing Edward to hang his red cloak on a hook. The boy gaped even more as the room lit up.

"Good god, man." he breathed, staring, nearly stricken. Boxes littered the hall and trash bags were leaning up against the wall, everything was covered in a rather thick layer of dust, and Roy didn't even seem to care that their coats were dripping slightly muddy water onto the tile. Suddenly, he yelped as a towel, a pair of black slacks, and a long-sleeved black shirt hit him in the face.

"Here, dry off and change clothes before you freeze, I'm going to shower. Library's down the hall to the right, feel free to have at it." Roy called absently, already in the bathroom, steam pouring out from the cracks in the door. Ed once more stared, before ducking, embarrassed, down behind the couch to change into the dry clothes and to dry himself off with the towel. He scowled angrily, having to roll up both the shirt sleeves and the pant legs so he wouldn't trip.

"Damnit, goddamn giant Taisa," he swore, before surveying the living room, hall, and kitchen with an almost horrified fascination, "Damn, think he's ever done a bit of housework in his life?"

Of course, no one answered him.

He really should have known not to stack up the crusty paper plates and toss them in the trash. That soon led to gathering up cushions and straightening them neatly on the couch, which led to dumping piles upon piles of clothes into the washing machine, which led to Edward tying up his slightly wet hair and grabbing the cleanest rag he could find and scrubbing off the coating of dust that appeared to have resided there since the days of primordial ooze.

Being as obsessed with alchemy and science as he was, Edward craved a high level of organization and orderliness, both in mind and material possessions, and was therefore a complete neat freak no matter how one looked at it, which was at times both frustrating and convenient. Within a few more claps and several trips out to the side of the house to dump the trash bags, it was done.

Scowling, Ed sat himself down on the couch after raiding, and after finding it a total wreck, organizing Roy's library.

"Damn bastard, stupid, slither-outering idiot Mustang."

Vaguely, Edward wondered what was taking the colonel so long, but pushed it out of his mind within the first page of : Organic Alchemy Advanced, for the Math Major.

He didn't notice Roy step out of his bedroom several minutes in a casual outfit of blue slacks and a white shirt, barefoot, his hair wet. Blue eyes widened at the sudden cleanliness of his house, and at the miniaturized alchemist on his couch, reading intently. He said nothing, but crept up behind Edward, who didn't react except for a slight tensing as Roy leaned over his shoulder, not actually noticing him there or bothering to wrench his attention away from the book.

"Boo." the colonel whispered in Edward's ear, watching in both amusement and satisfaction when the boy jumped, eyes wide, dropping the book. Roy snickered, but stopped when an infuriated yelp underlined with pain met his ears. Somehow, Ed's loose hair had gotten caught in his automail arm, and now he couldn't move without yanking rather painfully on it.

"Bastard." Edward snarled, wincing as Roy reached out a hand and untangled the long, honey-blonde strands from the gears.

"Better?" he asked softly, and Ed was visibly startled by the gentleness in his voice. Wide-eyed, he nodded, staring as Roy's fingers twined in the hair he still held slightly. "What do you do to it?"

"Huh? My hair, you mean?"

Roy nodded.

"Not much, really. Just wash it and condition it, why?"

"No reason." The man shrugged and plopped himself down and the couch next to his subordinate, peering at the book, "I noticed that somehow you managed to clean my house."

"Took you damn long enough," Edward grouched, "How can you possibly let your living quarters get in such terrible condition. And your library! I could just kill you for that." He sighed, "Can you just take me home now?"

"Hagane no, take a good look outside, would you?" Roy said lazily, directing Edward's attention with a wave of his hand. It was completely black, and rain pounded against the windows, and the tree outside rapped on a window upstairs. "There is no way I am driving through that, Hagane no. It will be fine, by tomorrow your clothes will be dry and things will proceed as normal, but for now you need to stay here, there is no way in hell that you will get me out there, alchemy or no alchemy, and there is no way in hell that I am allowing you to go out there and risk your life."

Oh, by the Gate.

Roy blinked as Ed did something that he'd swear that he'd never seen him do, and that would be….pout.

"And what exactly would that be?" he inquired, staring as Edward blinked in confusion.

"What? What did I do?"

"N-never mind."

"Okay then." Without another word, Ed turned back to his book, opening it back up to the page he had left off on and began once more to read, apparently determined to ignore Roy for all he was worth. Roy ignored him as well, sitting back and loosening his shoulders, letting his head fall back onto the cushion.

"Ugh. I'm so tired." the man moaned loudly, scowling at nothing in particular, "You have no idea what a difficult job this is!"

"Oh yes, making poor Hawkeye do all your work and getting to set things on fire, how very, very difficult." Edward quipped, and Roy jolted up, wide-eyed, actually looking angry.

"Edward Elric, don't you dare say anything like that, EVER again, unless you know just what the hell you're talking about." Roy snarled, voice tinged with a razored edge, and Ed turned his head away, once again silent.

It stayed that way for about ten minutes, Roy quietly trying to loosen up again and Edward refusing to meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Taisa. That was uncalled for." The blonde said quietly, not trusting himself to look away from where he was stubbornly staring at his book, not even reading it. "I'm sorry." He jolted when a large hand came up and clapped him on the head, twining in his hair.

"Your hair really is quite the eye-catcher. I know women who would kill to have hair like yours." Roy commented, tilting his head, "They would feel that it was wasted on you."

"Well, let them." Ed growled, shaking his head, "It's just my hair, why should they care what it looks like?" he inquired mostly to himself, before staring at the clock. 9:30.

Damnit.

"Have you eaten?" the colonel inquired, and Edward glanced up, thrown off a bit.

"Huh?"

"Have you eaten yet? I eat early, so it didn't occur to me that you might nor have."

"Um….no, actually." Edward admitted, "I was too busy cleaning up your crap."

"No one made you do it." Mustang told him blandly, "You could have just left everything the way it was and eaten everything in my fridge, and I wouldn't have paid any mind."

"That's not the point," the blonde muttered, "Besides, it's rude."

The colonel blinked. Since when did Edward Elric care about whether he was being rude or not? Oh well.

"Well, here, come with me, you're just a kid, you need to eat _something_, anyway." Roy told him sternly and stood up, taking Edward by the arm and all but dragging him to the kitchen. "Eat whatever, I'm not a good cook, so all I can say is that you're on your own. We've got instant ramen, instant soup, instant bread, instant SPAM, instant….something that I don't know, instant salmon in a can. Pick and choose."

"Well, you can have the salmon." Ed remarked with a grimace, "Yuck."

"Besides, to fix it would require adding milk. And we all know your little aversion to _that_ end of the food spectrum."

"Shut up, Taisa," the blonde muttered, pulling out a package of ramen and a bowl, filled the bowl with water and set it on the stove to start boiling, before pulling out a chair and sitting down. "Your library is simply disgraceful, you know." he said, "I really could just die from the way you've let it rot."

"I can assume, then, that you've attacked _that_ as well?" Roy inquired, and smirked when Ed nodded, "How did I ever know?" Edward scowled at him but actually held his tongue, "And don't worry, Hagane no, you can read anything anytime you want, I can't remember the last time I actually set foot in there for pleasure."

Suddenly, both of them noticed that the water was boiling, and Ed dropped the little block of freeze-dried noodles into the water, flinching when it splashed slightly and got his good hand. In a split-second, a streak of bright blue hit the air, most of the words Edward was shouting he had learned from many of the older military men and that this humble authoress refuses to even mention. Roy leapt to his feet, grabbing Ed's hand in concern.

"Wow, looks like you got yourself good, Hagane no, here, sit down, I'll go get some bandages-and don't you mess with it!-you'll make it worse. Here, put some ice on it, I should have something to put on it." Startled, Edward obeyed, pressing the ice to his hand and sitting quietly, rather weirded out with this strange, new, slightly-less-antagonistic Colonel Mustang. He stared blankly at his hand. A large red splotch was beginning to form on the top of it, right on his wrist and traveling down about halfway to his fingers, and he winced.

"Yowch." he said to himself, shaking it slightly in the childish attempt to try and make the pain go away, "Damn, can I not go one day without hurting myself?"

It was at that point that Roy walked back in, a roll of bandages in one hand, a roll of tape in the other, and a large tube of some ominous-looking ointment stuck behind his ear.

"Okay, hold still, this might hurt." he told the younger alchemist, and Edward scoffed at him.

"I survived getting automail put in, while conscious. I think I can handle a little burn."

Roy shot him an odd look, but nevertheless took his hand in his larger one, examining the burn.

"You really did a number on yourself." he mused, taking the tube from behind his ear and squeezing it onto his fingertip to spread it onto the mark. Edward couldn't help it, he hissed slightly in pain at the touch and tensed up, but otherwise made no other movement to signify pain. Roy couldn't help it, he _was_ impressed, even if, by all rights, he shouldn't be. No one that young should be able to take pain that well.

Not even state alchemists.

Quiet, he bandaged up the younger man's hand, eyeing Edward's expressions closely as he did so.

Nothing. Not a wince, not a closing of the eyes, not even a damn scent of fear! Only that one small hiss and the continued tensing of his body were the only hints Edward Elric gave to show he was in pain.

"Here, you sit there, and I'll finish up your food." Mustang told him, turning, and stirring the ramen, which was just about done, before adding the seasoning and spooning it into a bowl. "By the Gate, please be careful this time, I don't want Hawkeye after my blood because you got hurt, you know. Or that mechanic of yours, come to think of it."

"Mine?" Ed blinked at his tone, "My mechanic she may be, but trust me, Winry is NOT my girlfriend. She's more suited to Al then me, we make better siblings than anything else."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well," the blonde mused, slurping at his noodles, "We're too much alike, I think. We're too stubborn and hot-headed. She needs someone to cool her down and anchor her, and Al's the better choice for that, not me."

"And who do you think that you are suited for?"

"I'm…not sure." Edward said, and Mustang noticed that that was quite possibly the calmest he had ever seen him, "I don't know. I think, truthfully-and if you dare repeat this to ANYBODY you're so dead you bastard-I need someone stronger than me. At least, emotionally speaking, if that makes any sense. I never know where I'm going, and Al says that I need someone who can point me in the _right_ direction, not just guess and land me in some random spot. And what about you?"

Roy blinked, not expecting to be dragged into this conversation.

"Huh? Me?"

"Yes, you. If you are allowed to make comments and ask me questions about my nonexistent love life, then I am certainly entitled to do the same to you. After all, the rumors are quite outrageous, I'm sure at least one or two of them are true." Edward smirked, a rather devious expression on him, "So, Taisa, is it true that you've boinked every single woman in Central, and that's why you're in the east?"

Roy choked.

"E-excuse me!"

"You heard me, Taisa." Edward was now wearing _the_ most satisfied expression Roy had ever seen on him. EVER. "So, answer or die. What do you look for in a partner? I'm mean, what, great legs, short skirts, easy? Hit me. I'm a guy, I'll know what you're talking about! Somewhat, anyway, if it's a pervert like you." That last bit was muttered to himself.

"Well," Roy commented to himself, really wishing he wasn't being forced to explain his romantic likes to a teenage boy, "If it were long-term, which is what we're talking about, I think I want someone to protect. I'm kind of used to being a leader, you know? But I also want someone strong, who I can have at my back and trust with anything in the world, and someone whom I don't have to treat like glass, but makes me want to anyway."

Edward wasn't making fun of him like Roy though he would.

"Oh well, I suppose I'm just doomed from the start."

"_You're _doomed?" Ed asked incredulously, setting his hands on the table careful of his burn, "You've at least got options, damn it! Me, I'm quite possibly the youngest person in the whole bloody military, everyone treats me like a kid and yet send me on missions that may as well be suicide! Everything's too hot, too dangerous, too sharp, too frightening for me to face, and yet here I am, faced up to my own stupid, childish mistake and no one seems to give a damn!" The blonde was shouting now, golden eyes narrowed in anger.

"Would you rather they pity you?" Roy asked delicately, hands folded calmly over each other.

"NO, but I'm sick of being held to a double standard! If it's not too dangerous for me to go searching for ways to get my brother's body back, how the hell is it too dangerous for me to face up to homunculi? Everyone acts like I'm some sort of child, and yet they all put me situations that they're too scared to handle." Edward quieted, breathing heavy, "Are you going to deny it, Taisa?"

Slowly, Roy shook his head.

"No, not when it's so true. You are held to a double standard, and you should be used to it by now." Edward reeled back, as if he had been slapped, "Like it or not, Edward, you _are_ who you are. You are the Fullmetal Alchemist. You are the youngest person ever to get his state alchemic license. You are sixteen years old, and have already attempted human transmutation. You are sixteen, and you have been through more and encountered more pain than even the most traumatized military generals still in the mental ward. You have to deal with it, Hagane no." Roy was dead serious as he spoke, and absently let his eyes drift to Edward's bandaged hand, "Is that simply a small injury to you, Edward?"

"….."

"So oddly quiet now, aren't we?"

"….."

"Don't want to face it, do you? Still such a child."

"SHUT UP!" Ed stood and glared harshly, both fists clenching at his sides.

"What's wrong, Edward? Are you scared?"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

"Say it." Roy ordered, standing and towering over the younger alchemist, "As your superior, I order you to say it. Say that you're scared."

"I WON'T!"

"But you are." Roy didn't even know himself how he was being so calm, knowing that at that moment Edward was volatile enough to clap him to smithereens without hesitation. "Say it. Say that you're scared."

"I won't!"

"Say it."

"I won't!"

"SAY IT!" Roy roared, leaping forward and grabbing Edward by the shoulders, "Tell the truth and say it, if you think that you're worthy of your position as a alchemist. As a fighter. SAY IT."

"I can't. I can't say it, I won't say it!" The blonde was shaking from both unadulterated rage and…. something else he couldn't explain, "I can't say it. If I say it….."

"It will never leave this room." Roy promised, "I will never tell a soul, I swear it by the Gate."

"I'm scared." Edward ground out, staring obstinately at the floor, "I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared, I'm scared-I'm scared- I'M SCARED!" Roy let out a breath, and against his survival instincts knelt down and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him. Instantly, Edward reciprocated, and against his will tears began to slip from those furious golden eyes.

"I hate you." he muttered, "I hate you, I hate you so much, I hate you," he sobbed furiously into Roy's shoulder, fists clenching spasmodically as he did so.

"Right now you do." Roy murmured into his hair, feeling the tears soak into his shirt, "But you don't hate me, really, do you?"

A small, almost imperceptible shake of the blonde's head.

"Good."

Roy glanced at the clock. 11:30.

"Here, calm down, calm down now, relax." he soothed, pulling away and handing the boy a tissue, "It's late, I'll go and get your bed ready, alright? You can have the couch, I think it might actually be better than the bed."

"Huh?" Edward sniffed, face a bright, mortified pink. Good god, he'd just completely broken down in front of the one man he hated- or _thought_ he hated most! Roy didn't seem to notice, but appeared to treading softly now.

"Yeah, I can't count how many times I've slept on that couch rather than the bed, it's almost disturbing. So, you calm yourself down, and I'll go fix it up." He didn't know why he did, but as he passed, the elder alchemist reached out a hand and ruffled Ed's bangs, making him yelp in frustration. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Edward muttered, still staring at the floor. "Yeah."

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Where is your inspiration, you lost it, oh so long ago  
so much for innovation, I saw this coming long before  
You had no motivation, your hopes are high but trapped below,  
This constant competition, we've won but you're still keeping score

So high on dedication, it feels so good to get away,  
From all this repetition, this angry town, this battleground  
So now we'll break tradition, we'll leave you swimming in our wake  
Without your inspiration, you won't survive, you'll surely drown

Where is your inspiration, you lost it oh so long ago

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**You are my inspiration……**

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_He looks so innocent when he sleeps_, Roy mused, _if I didn't know better, I'd say he actually looked like a kid._

Ed's breathing was deep and regulated, and completely honest in sleep, the slight lines in his forehead smoothed out, and a content expression on his face.

"Who knew." Roy mused, "That such a stubborn, hot-headed, blunt little brat could actually grow on me."

But he knew it was a lie.

From the first time he laid eyes on Hohenheim's eldest child, he'd liked him instantly. That frustratingly honest spirit just killed any sense of genuine hostility he'd had, and had immediately tapered off into mild annoyance and irritation, mere frustration at the most, but mainly consisted of teasing affection.

"By the Gate, you're such a brat." he mused.

But a brat that, at this point, Roy Mustang might have done anything for.

Suddenly, the golden eyes snapped open, and Roy jumped.

"You're so loud, Taisa, go away. Useless, bastardly….slither-outerer."

Yes, _that_ remark had been purely Edward, and Roy snickered, reaching out a hand, and running it through that blonde hair that caught his attention so often.

"Go back to sleep, Hagane no."

"What are you doing? Go 'way…man, that feels really good."

Roy snorted.

And _there_ was the solid proof that Ed was not as lucid as he'd like to be.

"Alright, then. Goodnight. Pleasant dreams, Hagane no. Heaven knows you need them."

"Night….Mustang."

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FINITE

OWARI


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